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Bill Gates Recovering

Redmond, Washington— Investegators are trying to track down the culprit(s) who were responsible for slipping an unknown quantity of LSD into Bill Gates' drink.

It is believed that the crime was commited shortly before Mr. Gates held a press conference in Redmond earlier this week. The media event, scheduled for 20 minutes, lasted for several hours.

Witnesses say that the billionaire at first appeared to be very much himself, but soon became erratic and spent a lot of time touching his face and saying, "Wow, man!"

No charges have been laid at this time.